Four.

Jingle-Bell-Rock,

This will be the third time I try and write this post. The first I deleted. The second I have saved in front of me. The third is going to be a combination of the first two attempts.
Normally writing comes easy. I think it's because I can write how I am actually feeling/thinking. But that may be the problem, in the fact, I don't know how much to censor and how much to reveal.
I mentioned last time that there are sad pieces in my head. They come, they go. And I think the posts will reflect that.
I am already being left behind. I see jokes I'm not part of. Events I'm not invited to. So I push people away because I am afraid of being left behind. I jump before I'm pushed.
And I'm not waving, I'm drowning.
(Regina Spektor: Eet.)
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Reality: So it has all been go in regards to Japan: Certificate of Eligibility through and the other thing I needed (yeah I've forgotten what it's called, but the important thing is I have it!). So this week entails a visit to the Japanese embassy in Laaannnndaaaan to do final visa things which means I can FINALLY book my flights. Which means by next week I need to have a plan of when I go, when I come back and where I'm going between those two 'whens'. Wank. :)

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So un-suprisingly I have not even touched the topic I wanted to cover in this post. So I believe you will get a 4.5 in the next couple of days which will go into the London journey I just came back from and how that relates to coping in Japan :)

yours.